'You didn't grow up at their kitchen table' 🪑🪑 Porch #189
In which I climb onto my well-worn soapbox . . . and preach to myself.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
- Ephesians 4:29 - 32
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Hold on to your hats, gang. Here we go.
The four of us were chatting one evening. For some reason, the conversation slowly started heading downhill. Not all that edifying. Opinionated. Judgemental. I can’t remember the particulars and the details aren’t the point.
This is the point: my brother-in-law the Hospice chaplain quietly said to no one in particular, ‘You didn't grow up at their kitchen table.’
And right then and there, the whole discussion mercifully ground to a halt.
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How quick we’ve come to get right into the ring, spouting our tired opinions about people, places, and things we know next to nothing about. Freely giving a piece of our minds (that we really can’t afford to lose). Going on and on about situations which are tragic, complex, none of our business, or way out of our league.
Kindness, graciousness, and mercy are quickly going the way of the horse and buggy, yes, even among those of us who name the name of Jesus.
The 24/7 media culture we live in has done us no favors. More than ever, we are prone to have an axe to grind. We seek out those who agree with our opinions. The more we lean into the ways of the world, the quicker we are to jump to conclusions, slander those we don’t agree with, and fan the flames of ignorance.
How this must grieve the heart of the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1).
The endless disrespective dialogue we choose to expose ourselves to does nothing but quench our prayer life, narrow our discernment, and cause a watching world to ridicule our faithless testimony.
This is a tragedy.
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Hauling around this holier-than-thou attitude is exhausting. The burden wears us out. Our fuses get shorter. We point fingers. Our stress level rises. No wonder we feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders.
Truth be told, we’ve got no idea of the true backstory of the flesh and blood people we see on our screens . . . or in real life. We often don’t have a clue as to where the broken, the outrageous, the hurting, the misinformed, or the unlovely are coming from. We do not have access to the childhood traumas or the reckless dramas that have led them to where they find themselves right now.
But God knows. He cares. He weeps.
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The Spirit grieves over our worldly posturing and maneuvering. He longs to mend our own broken places, the wounds that have marred and scarred our weary souls, all that have kept us from truly seeing others as precious souls who Christ bled and died for.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
- Matthew 11:28 - 30
As we yield to His invitation, He fills us with His beautiful Spirit. He guides us into all truth, He speaks peace, He brings a healing touch. He restores and redefines the deepest part of who we are, our very souls.
And oh, the bounty of His presence is exactly what we’ve been yearning for!
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
- Galatians 5:22 - 23
We can’t authentically drum up these spiritual attributes on our own. Heaven knows we’ve tried and failed more often than we’d like to admit. But as we lean into Jesus and invest in cultivating this bountiful basket of spiritual fruit, we will be better equipped to serve others.
To be a safe harbor as we listen well. To discern what’s being whispered behind all the noise and clamor. To offer mercy and kindness. To be light bearers that lend wisdom, offer hope, who elevate hard conversations to new heights, who model peace and grace.
Because the ones we were so busy spouting off about are the ones who Jesus loves.
Thank you for hearing my heart. Now will someone please help an old lady down from her soapbox?!
Linda
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Amen. Good post! This reminds me that everyone is going through a battle we know nothing about.
Great and timely advice for all of us. We can all too easily become Pharisees instead of offering Jesus' model of love and forgiveness. We haven't grown up at their table or walked a mile in their shoes. Lord, help us not to judge lest we be judged. Blessings, Linda!