On family dynamics 👫👬 Porch #185

Summer often gifts us with more family time. How do we do this well, keep our cool, & walk away with good memories? Let's figure this out together (& meet my little great-grandson!)

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
- Philippians 4:8-9

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Can you believe it’s June?!

This week we’re celebrating both our daughters’ wedding anniversaries. They are married to the most incredible men and my heart smiles when I call them my sons. They’ve gifted us the most delightful array of grandchildren and now a sweet, blue-eyed great-grandson who simply can not wait to have his Great Ma scoop him up in her arms and never let him go.

Luke Hudson, 2 weeks old

We’re also remembering both my parents’ and in-laws’ anniversaries even though they are now home with the Lord. They remain close to our hearts and we talk about them often. I love how we can celebrate the lives of those no longer with us, dwelling on what was good and lovely, excellent and praiseworthy. We forgive what was broken and aim to live out the best attributes of their legacies.

I’d like to believe that if they have the ability to look down from heaven, even as they shake their heads in an uncertain amazement at what life in 2025 looks like, they’re at peace, knowing that they prayed fervantly for their children’s children’s children, confident that in God’s most capable hands, all will be well.

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If your family’s anything like mine … well last time I looked, no one’s perfect.

After listening to hundreds and hundreds of stories over the years in my roles as a counselor or as a friend, and living out my own ongoing family saga, this I know for sure: all us humans are on a learning curve in discovering how to do life well together.

And yes, at times that can look like a roller coaster on steroids.

When we choose to make our ultimate goal to please the Lord and find our deepest identity and satisfaction in Him, we gain the gift of surrender, the ability to begin releasing our rights and agendas, our obsessive need to control and fix.

Slowly but surely we are able to give those we love the grace and space to be themselves, not a carbon copy of who we expected them to be. We learn to loosen our clutching hands, pray a bit more faithfully, love a bit more lavishly, forgive (and ask for forgiveness) a bit more freely, even as we keep an eye out for creative ways to bring out the best in each other.

In the process, we finally learn to get out of our own way and trust God with the story He is writing in the lives of those we cherish. Yes, so much IS out of our control, our influence! And it hits home that, yes, He loves them even more than we do. These are the seasons when our faith is stretched way beyond what we ever dreamed to ask or imagine.

And that’s exactly where our Heavenly Father wants us. Absolutely, totally dependent on His inexhaustable lovingkindness, wisdom, and power.

Last week, I shared the news about the FREE video series STRONGER: 10 Days to Strengthen Your Mental Health and Well-Being from the American Association of Christian Counselors.

I love that these short and sweet morning pick-me-ups pop right into my inbox and I think you will, too. CLICK HERE to check it out and sign up. It’s easy.

Zach Clinton specializes in gently giving us a bit of hopeful re-direction … creating daily rhythms to improve sleep, set boundaries, and deepen relationships. As we launch into summertime, I can’t help but believe that the timing of this practical feast for mind and soul is straight from the hand of God.

DAY 1: STOP LETTING ANXIOUS THOUGHTS TAKE THE LEAD
’What if the key to managing anxiety began with learning to take control of our thoughts before they took control of us?’

DAY 2: WHEN YOUR EMOTIONS START RUNNING THE SHOW
’Managing emotions isn’t about controlling them, it’s about understanding them.’

DAY 3: YOU’RE NOT STUCK. YOU’RE ONE DECISION AWAY.
’New actions make old patterns obsolete.’

DAY 4: BE KINDER TO YOURSELF. IT’S NOT WEAKNESS.
’Most of us are way harder on ourselves than we would be ever on anybody else.’

DAY 5: WHAT IF THIS STRUGGLE ISN’T A WALL, BUT A WINDOW?
’This doesn’t mean ignoring pain or pretending everything is fine, it means giving yourself permission to see it differently.’

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Let’s talk family dynamics … what you wish you knew way back in the day and what you’re learning this in this season. What you need to release and know you need to embrace.

And what’s hitting home for you from those early morning pick-me-ups in your inbox.

Please feel free to share these musings with those you know who could use a bit of hopeful encouragement as they wrestle with their own family issues.

Go & love well, friends …
Linda 🤍

P.S.
I honor our friend Jewel who went home to be with the Lord this week. Our memories of doing life with her family back in New York are deep and rich. She was a tremendously gifted woman who lived each day with energetic joy and boundless creativity. Her generous Christlike legacy will most certainly live on. Talk about loving well.
💔 xo