On giving the gift of yourself
no ax to grind, no hidden agenda to fulfill, nothing at all to prove to ourselves or anyone else
"If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a number of experiences that are not meant for you personally at all. They are designed to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others."
- Oswald Chambers
The challenging invitation of what it might look like to be fully present to another soul kept tumbling around in my head as I trotted along on an early morning walk not terribly long ago.
Each of us has a special person (or two) in our life who is yearning for some undivided, focused attention that only we can provide. The good news is that we get to decide if / when / how we will offer that lovely gift of ourselves to another.
I'm not talking about some kind of weird, exhausting co-dependent relationship, but the willing, gentle offering of a healthy grace-laden presence to someone who's struggling.
One beggar showing another beggar where to find bread.
This is not about doing, but about being still.
This is not about offering advice, but about listening well.
This is about laying aside what's good to invest in what's best.
Not to mention clearing valuable space in our overloaded calendars and unplugging from all that grabs for our attention so we can go there unhindered.
Literally.
Being fully present to another soul requires 4 gratitude-fueled distinctives that the Holy Spirit has graciously cultivated in us over time:
~ We are at peace with God, yielding to a sacred stillness in the depths of our own beings, an emotionally healthy spirituality, a well overflowing with all the fruit of His Spirit's faithful, delightful presence ... love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22).
~ We have experienced our own broken woundedness, our own grief and sorrow ... and embraced a hard won healing along the way.
~ We are comfortable in our own skin so that we have no ax to grind, no hidden agenda to fulfill, nothing at all to prove to ourselves or anyone else.
~ We are humble in our own self-evaluation so we know that any ability we have to embrace the calling to become a wounded healer is only because of God's powerfully redemptive work in our own lives.
What’s been your experience?
Linda
HAVING TROUBLE LEAVING A COMMENT?
1. Go to the Substack profile page you created when you subscribed.
2. In the handle space, delete anything you’ve put there.
3. Hit the done button at the top.
4. You’re good to go! Jump right on in!
Click here to check out our Listening Life Book Club!
What's come to me, as I sit and reflect on your post, is the power of presence--presence to ourselves and others. When we are present to ourselves, we know the capacity we have to help another, and open to hear what the Holy Spirit within us. Then we also know when and how to present to others. It all starts with being present.
So enjoyed this piece and the comments!! Thank you Linda. As someone entering the second half of life and launching teenagers, I’ve felt untethered and wonder what/where/who/how God will use me next. This gift of a fully present, emotionally & spiritually healthy self resonates with me. Our world needs this, but as you mentioned, it is an expensive offering (“clearing valuable space in our overloaded calendars and unplugging from all that grabs for our attention…”)