it doesn't mean your every desire will be granted but it sure beats wishing your people were mind readers (PLUS Sarah Bessey and Emily Freeman on marriage, listening well, and faith!)
Linda, you are a woman after my own heart. We go one step further with the flowers. I select and pay out of our joint account for my anniversary and special occasion flowers. When my husband sees them I thank him for them profusely. It has worked well for 35 years and instead of whining about my husband never buying me flowers I enjoy sharing the joy in the bouquets with others who come to visit and talk him up as the giver of fine blooms.
You know I saw some of myself here. As a young wife and mom I expected my former husband to be a mind reader. I guess it's that hind sight thing. You've got very wise and encouraging words here today. What am I taking about you always have wise words of wisdom.
Thanks so much for sharing this with Sweet Tea & Friends this month sweet friend.
I'm so glad you're feeling better, Linda. It seems like this Covid recovery process takes as long as it takes, so it's good to celebrate every small improvement. Maybe it's the season of life I'm in, but after almost 30 years of marriage, our differences--particularly in how we process nearly everything--are more noticeable to me. Which is why I'm so encouraged to know you and your sweet husband are still learning after 48 years. :-)
You're right, Lois, this covid healing 'takes as long as it takes.' I've been dealing with that 'hit the wall' fatigue and have been giving naps and restful hours the space that my body is demanding. I'm grateful I'm not having trouble breathing, I'm not in pain, and there are no little ones or a 9-5 job that demands my attention. All will be well.
I am so glad you are feeling better, Linda, and seeing improvement each day. We will celebrate our 45th this May and I am still amazed at the things I learn about my husband and marriage :) It's what makes the journey interesting and fun! But you are so right, none of us are mind readers. And so, may we offer grace and gently share our needs with one another. By the way, your flowers are beautiful!
Maybe it's the 'gently' that is coming a bit more naturally as the decades pass by. We've seen that not-so-gently doesn't work at all. In fact it backfires, doesn't it ...
Providing a safe space for people to just be, without judgment as they wrestle through life's questions, is true gift for them and for ourselves. Yes, what a privilege it is to be trusted to witness another person's heart and soul unfolding. I am glad you are feeling better Linda!
Your honesty and vulnerability are refreshing, Linda.
So glad to hear that you're feeling better day by day and that your sense of smell might be making a gradual comeback. Your resilience and grace in the face of challenges are inspiring.
Sending you continued well wishes and virtual hugs!
Veronica, thanks, girl. What a lovely encouragement as we head into another week. I hope you're doing well. And thanks for letting me vicariously travel the world with you along the way.
I am so happy that you are improving and the sense of smell is returning. I didn’t tell you last week when you shared about Covid and losing your sense of smell. My husband had Covid in November of 2020 and his sense of smell has never returned. He certainly misses the smell of food cooking on the stove, bread baking in the oven, my perfume, honeysuckle in the spring. But he never complains, he only mentions it occasionally to me. Yes, my husband is not a mind reader and I did finally figure that out! Happy Sunday, Linda!
Dear Pam, your husband's loss is a loss for both of you. I am sorry ... yet can't help thinking you somehow keep those vibrant memories alive as you continue to do life and love and creative work together.
First of all, I'm so glad you're improving, Linda. :) I saw Emily's interview with Sarah the other day, and both of their books sound really helpful in feeling less alone with that "deconstruction of faith." I love your reflections here! Love and blessings to you!
Trudy, yes, yes. Isn't it such a comfort knowing God is at work in all our lives. He's not surprised or alarmed by where we are in our walk of faith and He knows exactly what each of us need to be healed, nurtured, and grown to be more like Jesus so that we in turn can point others to Him. We are not alone, we are in good company as we keep in step with what He is teaching us about Himself.
What a wonderful Savior. What a tender, wise Shepherd.
well...as you know Linda we were in AZ for a week's vacation, so I'm late posting here. I do hope you are feeling better from COVID. I had it back in 12/20 and lost 48 pounds as it led to gall stones kicking into my bile duct and ultimately a procedure to remove them then have my gall bladder removed. Actually, it wasn't COVID but something else that caused the issue. Anyway...I hope you are on the mend. I plan to go back and read this closer but wanted to at least reply quickly while I had a few minutes. Take care. Get well. Have a great weekend!
Indeed, may God give us humble hearts that enable us to "listen well to the spiritual ponderings of others especially if their struggles might be quite different than our own." It provides them a chance to fine-tune their thinking and we just might learn something! / SO glad you're on the mend, Linda!
You're right, Nancy. There's always takeaways to spiritual conversations if we are leaning into the Spirit's guidance. Why is it that the older we get the more we're learning?
Among my guiding words is "Ask for what you need and offer what you can." Christina Baldwin in her book The Seven Whispers, Listening to the Voice of Spirit illuminates those words so beautifully.
Linda thank you for sharing so honestly about asking your husband for exactly what you want/need. I played that game of passive aggressive sulking and pouting for years. All it did was undermine trust in our relationship. You are right no one has time for that nonsense! By the way the flowers are lovely!
Thank you also for touching the holy cow of faith deconstruction. I do grow weary with conservatives trashing people who express this mindset. The truth is I think we all deconstruct our faith in a matter of speaking. But most people I talk to who are in the deconstruction camp are there because conservatives are so darn rigid and judgmental. They're just trying to find the Jesus they thought they knew before they were hit over the head with legalism.
I am someone who "deconstructed" their faith, when I left (ran) from my legalistic church some years ago. Let's not get hung up on semantics....
Linda, you are a woman after my own heart. We go one step further with the flowers. I select and pay out of our joint account for my anniversary and special occasion flowers. When my husband sees them I thank him for them profusely. It has worked well for 35 years and instead of whining about my husband never buying me flowers I enjoy sharing the joy in the bouquets with others who come to visit and talk him up as the giver of fine blooms.
Love this, Hayley. Sure beats whining. Does it really matter who buys the flowers (or any other treats) as long as we're enjoying them together ...
You know I saw some of myself here. As a young wife and mom I expected my former husband to be a mind reader. I guess it's that hind sight thing. You've got very wise and encouraging words here today. What am I taking about you always have wise words of wisdom.
Thanks so much for sharing this with Sweet Tea & Friends this month sweet friend.
You're right, hindsight's can be instructive ... but it can also be distracting from who we can be in the here and now.
I'm so glad you're feeling better, Linda. It seems like this Covid recovery process takes as long as it takes, so it's good to celebrate every small improvement. Maybe it's the season of life I'm in, but after almost 30 years of marriage, our differences--particularly in how we process nearly everything--are more noticeable to me. Which is why I'm so encouraged to know you and your sweet husband are still learning after 48 years. :-)
You're right, Lois, this covid healing 'takes as long as it takes.' I've been dealing with that 'hit the wall' fatigue and have been giving naps and restful hours the space that my body is demanding. I'm grateful I'm not having trouble breathing, I'm not in pain, and there are no little ones or a 9-5 job that demands my attention. All will be well.
I am so glad you are feeling better, Linda, and seeing improvement each day. We will celebrate our 45th this May and I am still amazed at the things I learn about my husband and marriage :) It's what makes the journey interesting and fun! But you are so right, none of us are mind readers. And so, may we offer grace and gently share our needs with one another. By the way, your flowers are beautiful!
Maybe it's the 'gently' that is coming a bit more naturally as the decades pass by. We've seen that not-so-gently doesn't work at all. In fact it backfires, doesn't it ...
So glad that you are feeling better Linda. Oh my! We surely aren't mind readers with anyone. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
Half the time we're not even sure what WE'RE thinking!
I'm trying to get better at actually asking for what I need, too. But it doesn't come naturally. Yet. There's always hope. :)
You're right, friend. There's always hope ... and we're all still in learning mode.
Providing a safe space for people to just be, without judgment as they wrestle through life's questions, is true gift for them and for ourselves. Yes, what a privilege it is to be trusted to witness another person's heart and soul unfolding. I am glad you are feeling better Linda!
'Unfolding' ... yes, like a flower slowly but surely blooming into fullness, Lynn. His creation paints the most beautiful, hopeful scenarios.
Your honesty and vulnerability are refreshing, Linda.
So glad to hear that you're feeling better day by day and that your sense of smell might be making a gradual comeback. Your resilience and grace in the face of challenges are inspiring.
Sending you continued well wishes and virtual hugs!
Veronica, thanks, girl. What a lovely encouragement as we head into another week. I hope you're doing well. And thanks for letting me vicariously travel the world with you along the way.
In the words of the Spice Girls: "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want".
Glad to hear that your recovery is progressing well.
LOL!!
I am so happy that you are improving and the sense of smell is returning. I didn’t tell you last week when you shared about Covid and losing your sense of smell. My husband had Covid in November of 2020 and his sense of smell has never returned. He certainly misses the smell of food cooking on the stove, bread baking in the oven, my perfume, honeysuckle in the spring. But he never complains, he only mentions it occasionally to me. Yes, my husband is not a mind reader and I did finally figure that out! Happy Sunday, Linda!
Dear Pam, your husband's loss is a loss for both of you. I am sorry ... yet can't help thinking you somehow keep those vibrant memories alive as you continue to do life and love and creative work together.
ox
First of all, I'm so glad you're improving, Linda. :) I saw Emily's interview with Sarah the other day, and both of their books sound really helpful in feeling less alone with that "deconstruction of faith." I love your reflections here! Love and blessings to you!
Trudy, yes, yes. Isn't it such a comfort knowing God is at work in all our lives. He's not surprised or alarmed by where we are in our walk of faith and He knows exactly what each of us need to be healed, nurtured, and grown to be more like Jesus so that we in turn can point others to Him. We are not alone, we are in good company as we keep in step with what He is teaching us about Himself.
What a wonderful Savior. What a tender, wise Shepherd.
Perhaps because our spirits are becoming softer, wisdom is growing stronger, and our ears are growing bigger! 😁
Well then, let's hear it for bigger ears ...
well...as you know Linda we were in AZ for a week's vacation, so I'm late posting here. I do hope you are feeling better from COVID. I had it back in 12/20 and lost 48 pounds as it led to gall stones kicking into my bile duct and ultimately a procedure to remove them then have my gall bladder removed. Actually, it wasn't COVID but something else that caused the issue. Anyway...I hope you are on the mend. I plan to go back and read this closer but wanted to at least reply quickly while I had a few minutes. Take care. Get well. Have a great weekend!
Yes, I do remember your bout with Covid, Bill. It was ghastly. The lingering effects for some can be more than a little unsettling.
Indeed, may God give us humble hearts that enable us to "listen well to the spiritual ponderings of others especially if their struggles might be quite different than our own." It provides them a chance to fine-tune their thinking and we just might learn something! / SO glad you're on the mend, Linda!
You're right, Nancy. There's always takeaways to spiritual conversations if we are leaning into the Spirit's guidance. Why is it that the older we get the more we're learning?
Among my guiding words is "Ask for what you need and offer what you can." Christina Baldwin in her book The Seven Whispers, Listening to the Voice of Spirit illuminates those words so beautifully.
"Ask for what you need and offer what you can." Oh I love these condensed words, Nancy. Simple wisdom is usually the best wisdom.
Good stuff.
Linda thank you for sharing so honestly about asking your husband for exactly what you want/need. I played that game of passive aggressive sulking and pouting for years. All it did was undermine trust in our relationship. You are right no one has time for that nonsense! By the way the flowers are lovely!
Thank you also for touching the holy cow of faith deconstruction. I do grow weary with conservatives trashing people who express this mindset. The truth is I think we all deconstruct our faith in a matter of speaking. But most people I talk to who are in the deconstruction camp are there because conservatives are so darn rigid and judgmental. They're just trying to find the Jesus they thought they knew before they were hit over the head with legalism.
I am someone who "deconstructed" their faith, when I left (ran) from my legalistic church some years ago. Let's not get hung up on semantics....
Donna, thank you for sharing your insight. I hear what you are saying and I'm sorry for what you've had to experience along the way.
Jesus only.
Amen.