Porch #160 🐃 High - Low - Buffalo
Tender sadness & sparkling joy mingle. Bittersweet ache & hearty laughter go hand & hand. And the craziness of it all can kick off an onslaught of gratitude that we simply must speak out loud.
Well hello again friends,
I guess we’re a bit late to the party but we never heard of High - Low - Buffalo ‘til we spent a few days with our oldest granddaughter and her husband last month. At the end of a day when all hadn’t gone particularly well, she suddenly chirped High - Low - Buffalo and we quickly learned that it was time for each of us to share the day’s high, the low, and the serendipitous buffalo.
Wow. It was kind of a revelation. An off-the-cuff review … yet fun, quick, and not at all ponderous. Tim and I have been doing it every evening since, usually right before bed. He was a bit slow to get into it but once he realized there was no going back, there’s some nights now when he’s the one kicking off another episode.
So if you’re looking for some kind of conversation starter or a new family tradition for your holiday dinner, this might do the trick.
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The holidays are usually when we trot out those well-worn traditions, when we’re most inclined to want to do things like we always did them. This can be a lovely, meaningful practice … until it isn’t anymore, usually because there’s been some major family trauma like a death, or a divorce, or some kind of completely disorienting loss that’s hit like a ton of bricks.
It’s not like you get to sit down and analyze it. You just know that this year is seismically different and it’s impossible to pretend otherwise. And that is a very healthy realization because who needs to be in denial when your world has come crashing down in pieces and you know without a doubt that things will never be the same again.
Perhaps this has been the year you've encountered challenges galore and transitions that have almost done you in. Or immense losses too great to number or beyond description. And you already know that the holidays will be drastically altered and you're not quite sure what you're going to do about it.
That scenario was ours nine years ago as both my dad and our little grandson Tyler went home to be with Jesus, one in July and one in September, suddenly and without notice. Our extended family was left reeling, stunned, and shaken to the core.
We were also yearning to gather together again.
To soak in the strength of each other's company and savor hugs given. To play and laugh hard and feast well and share sweet memories that just begged to be spoken.
A week or two before the planned festivities, one or two decided that it would be wise to skip our decades old Thanksgiving tradition of going around the table after dessert with each one sharing what we were most thankful for in the just-about-finished year.
It wasn't that we weren't thankful.
It's just that we thought it wouldn't, at that point, well ... be particularly helpful.
So ... fast forward to the blazing smokey fire pit outside the kitchen door. The bitter icy cold and the shared knit blanket wrapped up tight and the mugs of steaming coffee. Fast forward to soft marshmallows melting into gooey chocolate wedged between stone-cold-crisp graham crackers.
And fast forward to the cuddling and the laughter and the billowing smoke that finally sent all sixteen of us stampeding back into the house to thaw out and re-warm.
This was how our thankfulness played out. It just ended up being, well, quite different than the tried and true routine.
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And then there was the Thanksgiving picnic on the porch a few years back soon after Mom had died. Nobody in their right mind was thinking about making a turkey or anything else for that matter. So we gathered the available family together, grabbed a few chicken pies from the local bakery, dressed up in our sweatshirts, scarves, and sneakers, and ate our meal off paper plates on a paper tablecloth like it was just another ordinary day. It worked for us.
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I have no idea what unspeakable losses and unexpected transitions have come your way in recent months or what your holidays are shaping up to look like this year. All I can do is encourage your family to have some gentle, respectful conversations together, to listen well to each other, to embrace what works for you in this particular season.
By all means, turn once again to your beloved, anticipated traditions if they’ll be comforting and grace-filled. But be courageous enough to shake things up a bit and temporarily put aside any customary routines that would feel forced or uncomfortable, exhausting or just plain inappropriate for where your tender hearts find themselves.
I'd love to hear what you've done to navigate through difficult holidays. If this has been a rough year, let's talk. You're in good company around here. And do tell us this week’s High - Low - Buffalo, ok?
Love you guys. Bless your grateful hearts, bless your tender spirits, bless your easy laughter and your free-flowing tears.
Linda 🐃
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WEEKEND NEWSLETTER
gentle conversation & calming snapshots
uplifting linkage & occasional surprises
for those who delight in doing life
in the company of kindred spirits
Happy Thanksgiving, dear Linda! I’m thankful for you and your gentle presence in this heartbreaking world of ours. Blessings to you and your family!
Hi-Lo-Buffalo...I have never heard of that before. I wonder if tossing in a stuffed buffalo would add to the experience! lol! Yes, let's be open to changing things up instead of trying to make-up the old within the new. We recently had S'mores around the fire for our Canadian thanksgiving dinner dessert. After our turkey dinner inside, we sat around a roaring fire, each with a blanket, and the chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers were passed around in a tin pan. I think we have similar likes, Linda!