Tender sadness & sparkling joy mingle. Bittersweet ache & hearty laughter go hand & hand. And the craziness of it all can kick off an onslaught of gratitude that we simply must speak out loud.
This is the first time that I heard of High - Low - Buffalo. But I love the concept!
Thanks for the helpful tips on navigating the holidays' challenging times. I agree that it's OK to let go of traditions when they no longer serve us well.
Good morning! Linda , I remember you saying if it doesn’t bring you joy letting go. Such good advice. I also pull out a sheet… Christmas tips for codependents. Reminders to keep it simple, keep it real , keep it focused on Jesus!
I have several memories of blue Christmases. The year I had no money and somebody put a decorated tree on our front lawn. The girls were horrified by that “ Charlie Brown tree “, but I was blessed!
Another year we moved to an apartment after selling our house. No furniture , but we had a tree and lawn chairs! A favorite memory!
This year choosing joy .., tree up early ( love the lights!) I am listening to my Christmas music and celebrating Jesus!
Dear Sara, what a joy to see you here, to be inspired by your love of Jesus, favorite memories in hard times, and the sparkle of early Christmas lights. Please come back to the discussion again soon, friend. You bring much deep thought and wisdom to the table.
Have to admit - High, Low, Buffalo is a new one to me. Have never heard of it. Once. Does that mean I'm old?:) I hope you are looking forward to a nice day tomorrow. I must admit, this is one of "those years" for us. I thought last year, as I drudged through chemo and all that goes with that, was the tough year. Oh no. We are going to do our best with Thanksgiving this year. With all its challenges, I have much to thank Him for. Much to appreciate and to hold close to my heart. But I don't think we will go around the table.....
Dear Jennifer, isn't it so very good that we don't have to pretend that all is well when things are hard and unsettled. And that our hearts can hold both life's reality and yet a deep appreciation and gratitude. I hope this week held pockets of peace and hope for you, friend ...
I've never heard of hi-lo-buffalo either ... sounds like a fun conversation starter! I love the way your holidays morphed into what they needed to be after your dear ones died. And now you have those precious memories from an otherwise sad time. Whatever works, is what I think. We're traveling to my sister's in Iowa for Thanksgiving dinner this year ... up there one day, back home the next. We've never done this before, but with Molly in Ireland this year, it seemed like a good thing to do.
The holidays is when it really hits us that the next generation have slowly but surely morphed into real live adults with other people, places, and things beyond their immediate family. This is hard stuff! It's the 1st year our oldest granddaughter will be elsewhere - with her new husband's family. Some of our family are struggling with this and understandably so. It's not an easy task to release our young adults, is it.
So yes, I'm agreeing with you, dear friend. Let's do what seems to be the good thing, the next right thing to do. And trust that our relationships and souls will be strengthened in the process.
Hi-Lo-Buffalo...I have never heard of that before. I wonder if tossing in a stuffed buffalo would add to the experience! lol! Yes, let's be open to changing things up instead of trying to make-up the old within the new. We recently had S'mores around the fire for our Canadian thanksgiving dinner dessert. After our turkey dinner inside, we sat around a roaring fire, each with a blanket, and the chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers were passed around in a tin pan. I think we have similar likes, Linda!
Maybe the finest solution is to be able to easily combine old and new with ease and joy, year by year. There's nothing like the next generation showing up to shake things up a bit. Your Thanksgiving sounds perfect, Lynn.
Barbara, you've made my day. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to see you here. I hope you're doing well and that your holidays will be peaceful and meaningful.
Is writing in your future? (I'm hoping you'll say, 'yes.')
How you handled the holidays during difficult times sounds right to me. I know this might sound dumb, but I always think of the children's cartoon "How the Grinch stole Christmas". The community lost every material thing, yet they still sung because it Christmas still arrived.
I have never hear of that expression either, Linda, but I can see how it would help a person put the day into perspective. Thank you for being so compassionate and understanding at these times of the year. My mom has been gone for so many years already, but a sadness cloaks me sometimes during Thanksgiving time. She always loved getting together with the entire family on that day, but after she passed away, each family kind of went their own way with their own families. But I realize that happens when families grow so big. I'm grateful I can now shake it off better and focus on the good memories I have of her. Love and blessings to you!
Those are the tough crossroads, Trudy, when families get so big that it's just about impossible to gather like we used to. That's on the horizon for us, too. These days I'm focusing on one holiday at a time and thankful for whoever can be there, missing the ones that are absent for one reason or another, and grateful for the ones who show up. Thanks for the reminder to focus on the good memories of those we've loved and lost.
I hope your Thanksgiving celebration is sweet and meaningful, friend.
It breaks my heart that your dear family has suffered so much loss and so close together, Linda. I cannot imagine carrying the weight of fresh grief for three loved ones, all at the same time. How wonderfully bittersweet that your family devised innovative ways to support and celebrate, even as you shed tears together.
Linda, I am so sorry you lost your grandson those years ago 🧡. Hardest Thanksgiving ever was last Thanksgiving when I was in crisis. I clung to my husband, which actually is a very sweet memory now.
Yes, the holidays or celebrations when we're in crisis can feel deperately lonely and hard to endure. How blessed that God has given you not only a supportive husband, but a sweet memory looking back.
He is able. Thanksgiving blessings to you and your family, friend.
Really appreciated this post, Linda. I'm feeling a little sad going into the holidays. Some extended family members are no longer with us, and the younger generation is scattered far and wide. None of our sons will be home for Thanksgiving, 2 of 3 will be home for Christmas. We'll be hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with smaller gatherings of extended family, and I'm grateful for that. But I feel and see how traditions have changed and are continuing to do so, and I have to say I'm missing past holidays, as hectic as they felt at the time. Striving to grow in gratitude, and in remembering that God is always good and unchanging even as life continues to change in unexpected ways. I don't know what I'd do without Him!
Oh yeah, it's so hard when the kids aren't there. I hear ya', Lauren. As they go out on their own and form new relationships and marry and all the things. Those precious traditions change in sometimes subtle ways and sometimes monumental shifts. Praying for you right now, that God will infuse you with an extra dose of His peace and joy as you aim to navigate all this well. And maybe whisper some kind of brand new traditions to begin in 2024.
Hi Linda. Thank you for this topic. Our Thanksgiving is different this year. Since my Mom passed away 17 years ago, I have hosted all the major holidays with the help of my amazing husband. My precious 94 year old Dad is now homebound with 24/7 caregivers. I will prepare all the food as usual, but will be transporting it to his home. My son, DIL, and our 3 grandchildren will join us at my Dad’s home. My brother and his family will be having Thanksgiving with my niece. We won’t all be together, so that part saddens me, but thankful that all of our family can celebrate Thanksgiving in a different way! God is good and faithful!
Oh, I'm thinking of your Dad today, Pam. How blessed to have this holiday with him, gathered in his home. Different for sure, and yes, a bit bittersweet. Don't you just love that, like you said, God is good and faithful, especially in these later in life scenarios with our parents. May this holiday bless you the most deepest meaningful ways.
Dear Linda, I always enjoy your posts. So thoughtful and filled with wisdom. Even after many years, holidays can be hard. But God is always good! His grace is sufficient. Thanks for sharing.
I had never heard of high low buffalo until I read your post, Linda, but it sure describes our entire year. Unexpected tragedies and triumphs have sent us on the proverbial roller coaster. Traditional Thanksgiving plans won't happen this year but after reading your post, I know that the Lord will hold us close and fill us with His grace and blessings. Thanks so much for the needed dose of wisdom and courage. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, this, so hard lived and yet so well written, Martha --> 'Unexpected tragedies and triumphs have sent us on the proverbial roller coaster.' I am sorry for all you guys have experienced and yet I know that He will see you through. Your testimony always rings loud and clear. May He bless you with a surprising level of peace and rest.
I hope this doesn't sound calloused Linda but Jo and I have not really had a holiday like you describe. Yes, we have had loss (Jo's dad especially) but his death was in July of '89. By the time Christmas rolled around we had dealt with the sadness and even though there was a certain amount of missing him (he and Jo's mom loved Christmas), there was also rejoicing that 1) he is with the Father, and 2) he left a legacy for us. My mother passed away in March of 2004 and I watched her become a shell because of cancer. I cried out of my own sadness but rejoiced for her joy. Our families have never been close geographically, so that sort of lended (not a word I know) itself to a bit of distance. My father died of dementia/Alzheimers at 90 and I don't even know where he is buried. My three brothers are spread out from PA to WA I'm sorry I can't add much to this conversation as to emotions. However, as a pastor, I see if often.
Bill, just you being here lends much to the conversation because you're sharing your story and many of us will find pieces of ourselves in there. This, right here, was my own experience after watching my Mom slowly, painfully fade away -->'I cried out of my own sadness but rejoiced for her joy.' So aptly put.
But meanwhile, how're you recovering from that knee surgery?
I'm recovering slowly but surely. It is never as fast we want it to be. :) :) But I am learning and hope to share some of those lessons in future posts on "Shadow." Thanks for asking.
This is the first time that I heard of High - Low - Buffalo. But I love the concept!
Thanks for the helpful tips on navigating the holidays' challenging times. I agree that it's OK to let go of traditions when they no longer serve us well.
Margie, let's hear it for fresh traditions mixed in with lovely memories! I hope your Thanksgiving was a good one.
Good morning! Linda , I remember you saying if it doesn’t bring you joy letting go. Such good advice. I also pull out a sheet… Christmas tips for codependents. Reminders to keep it simple, keep it real , keep it focused on Jesus!
I have several memories of blue Christmases. The year I had no money and somebody put a decorated tree on our front lawn. The girls were horrified by that “ Charlie Brown tree “, but I was blessed!
Another year we moved to an apartment after selling our house. No furniture , but we had a tree and lawn chairs! A favorite memory!
This year choosing joy .., tree up early ( love the lights!) I am listening to my Christmas music and celebrating Jesus!
Joy to all!
Dear Sara, what a joy to see you here, to be inspired by your love of Jesus, favorite memories in hard times, and the sparkle of early Christmas lights. Please come back to the discussion again soon, friend. You bring much deep thought and wisdom to the table.
xo
Have to admit - High, Low, Buffalo is a new one to me. Have never heard of it. Once. Does that mean I'm old?:) I hope you are looking forward to a nice day tomorrow. I must admit, this is one of "those years" for us. I thought last year, as I drudged through chemo and all that goes with that, was the tough year. Oh no. We are going to do our best with Thanksgiving this year. With all its challenges, I have much to thank Him for. Much to appreciate and to hold close to my heart. But I don't think we will go around the table.....
Dear Jennifer, isn't it so very good that we don't have to pretend that all is well when things are hard and unsettled. And that our hearts can hold both life's reality and yet a deep appreciation and gratitude. I hope this week held pockets of peace and hope for you, friend ...
I had never heard of that before either!
* smile *
I've never heard of hi-lo-buffalo either ... sounds like a fun conversation starter! I love the way your holidays morphed into what they needed to be after your dear ones died. And now you have those precious memories from an otherwise sad time. Whatever works, is what I think. We're traveling to my sister's in Iowa for Thanksgiving dinner this year ... up there one day, back home the next. We've never done this before, but with Molly in Ireland this year, it seemed like a good thing to do.
The holidays is when it really hits us that the next generation have slowly but surely morphed into real live adults with other people, places, and things beyond their immediate family. This is hard stuff! It's the 1st year our oldest granddaughter will be elsewhere - with her new husband's family. Some of our family are struggling with this and understandably so. It's not an easy task to release our young adults, is it.
So yes, I'm agreeing with you, dear friend. Let's do what seems to be the good thing, the next right thing to do. And trust that our relationships and souls will be strengthened in the process.
Hi-Lo-Buffalo...I have never heard of that before. I wonder if tossing in a stuffed buffalo would add to the experience! lol! Yes, let's be open to changing things up instead of trying to make-up the old within the new. We recently had S'mores around the fire for our Canadian thanksgiving dinner dessert. After our turkey dinner inside, we sat around a roaring fire, each with a blanket, and the chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers were passed around in a tin pan. I think we have similar likes, Linda!
Maybe the finest solution is to be able to easily combine old and new with ease and joy, year by year. There's nothing like the next generation showing up to shake things up a bit. Your Thanksgiving sounds perfect, Lynn.
Happy Thanksgiving, dear Linda! I’m thankful for you and your gentle presence in this heartbreaking world of ours. Blessings to you and your family!
Barbara, you've made my day. I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to see you here. I hope you're doing well and that your holidays will be peaceful and meaningful.
Is writing in your future? (I'm hoping you'll say, 'yes.')
How you handled the holidays during difficult times sounds right to me. I know this might sound dumb, but I always think of the children's cartoon "How the Grinch stole Christmas". The community lost every material thing, yet they still sung because it Christmas still arrived.
Yes, I love this, Amy! Let's still sing! There's so much to rejoice over.
I have never hear of that expression either, Linda, but I can see how it would help a person put the day into perspective. Thank you for being so compassionate and understanding at these times of the year. My mom has been gone for so many years already, but a sadness cloaks me sometimes during Thanksgiving time. She always loved getting together with the entire family on that day, but after she passed away, each family kind of went their own way with their own families. But I realize that happens when families grow so big. I'm grateful I can now shake it off better and focus on the good memories I have of her. Love and blessings to you!
Those are the tough crossroads, Trudy, when families get so big that it's just about impossible to gather like we used to. That's on the horizon for us, too. These days I'm focusing on one holiday at a time and thankful for whoever can be there, missing the ones that are absent for one reason or another, and grateful for the ones who show up. Thanks for the reminder to focus on the good memories of those we've loved and lost.
I hope your Thanksgiving celebration is sweet and meaningful, friend.
It breaks my heart that your dear family has suffered so much loss and so close together, Linda. I cannot imagine carrying the weight of fresh grief for three loved ones, all at the same time. How wonderfully bittersweet that your family devised innovative ways to support and celebrate, even as you shed tears together.
Nancy, thanks for these kind and thoughtful words. Wonderfully bittersweet is a winsome way to look at it all. He carries us through, doesn't He ...
'A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.'
- Matthew 12
Amen my friend--AMEN!
Linda, I am so sorry you lost your grandson those years ago 🧡. Hardest Thanksgiving ever was last Thanksgiving when I was in crisis. I clung to my husband, which actually is a very sweet memory now.
Yes, the holidays or celebrations when we're in crisis can feel deperately lonely and hard to endure. How blessed that God has given you not only a supportive husband, but a sweet memory looking back.
He is able. Thanksgiving blessings to you and your family, friend.
Really appreciated this post, Linda. I'm feeling a little sad going into the holidays. Some extended family members are no longer with us, and the younger generation is scattered far and wide. None of our sons will be home for Thanksgiving, 2 of 3 will be home for Christmas. We'll be hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with smaller gatherings of extended family, and I'm grateful for that. But I feel and see how traditions have changed and are continuing to do so, and I have to say I'm missing past holidays, as hectic as they felt at the time. Striving to grow in gratitude, and in remembering that God is always good and unchanging even as life continues to change in unexpected ways. I don't know what I'd do without Him!
Oh yeah, it's so hard when the kids aren't there. I hear ya', Lauren. As they go out on their own and form new relationships and marry and all the things. Those precious traditions change in sometimes subtle ways and sometimes monumental shifts. Praying for you right now, that God will infuse you with an extra dose of His peace and joy as you aim to navigate all this well. And maybe whisper some kind of brand new traditions to begin in 2024.
Hi Linda. Thank you for this topic. Our Thanksgiving is different this year. Since my Mom passed away 17 years ago, I have hosted all the major holidays with the help of my amazing husband. My precious 94 year old Dad is now homebound with 24/7 caregivers. I will prepare all the food as usual, but will be transporting it to his home. My son, DIL, and our 3 grandchildren will join us at my Dad’s home. My brother and his family will be having Thanksgiving with my niece. We won’t all be together, so that part saddens me, but thankful that all of our family can celebrate Thanksgiving in a different way! God is good and faithful!
Oh, I'm thinking of your Dad today, Pam. How blessed to have this holiday with him, gathered in his home. Different for sure, and yes, a bit bittersweet. Don't you just love that, like you said, God is good and faithful, especially in these later in life scenarios with our parents. May this holiday bless you the most deepest meaningful ways.
Dear Linda, I always enjoy your posts. So thoughtful and filled with wisdom. Even after many years, holidays can be hard. But God is always good! His grace is sufficient. Thanks for sharing.
Helen, I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for taking the time to share these kind, encouraging words with us. Thanksgiving blessings to you.
I had never heard of high low buffalo until I read your post, Linda, but it sure describes our entire year. Unexpected tragedies and triumphs have sent us on the proverbial roller coaster. Traditional Thanksgiving plans won't happen this year but after reading your post, I know that the Lord will hold us close and fill us with His grace and blessings. Thanks so much for the needed dose of wisdom and courage. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, this, so hard lived and yet so well written, Martha --> 'Unexpected tragedies and triumphs have sent us on the proverbial roller coaster.' I am sorry for all you guys have experienced and yet I know that He will see you through. Your testimony always rings loud and clear. May He bless you with a surprising level of peace and rest.
I hope this doesn't sound calloused Linda but Jo and I have not really had a holiday like you describe. Yes, we have had loss (Jo's dad especially) but his death was in July of '89. By the time Christmas rolled around we had dealt with the sadness and even though there was a certain amount of missing him (he and Jo's mom loved Christmas), there was also rejoicing that 1) he is with the Father, and 2) he left a legacy for us. My mother passed away in March of 2004 and I watched her become a shell because of cancer. I cried out of my own sadness but rejoiced for her joy. Our families have never been close geographically, so that sort of lended (not a word I know) itself to a bit of distance. My father died of dementia/Alzheimers at 90 and I don't even know where he is buried. My three brothers are spread out from PA to WA I'm sorry I can't add much to this conversation as to emotions. However, as a pastor, I see if often.
Bill, just you being here lends much to the conversation because you're sharing your story and many of us will find pieces of ourselves in there. This, right here, was my own experience after watching my Mom slowly, painfully fade away -->'I cried out of my own sadness but rejoiced for her joy.' So aptly put.
But meanwhile, how're you recovering from that knee surgery?
I'm recovering slowly but surely. It is never as fast we want it to be. :) :) But I am learning and hope to share some of those lessons in future posts on "Shadow." Thanks for asking.
One half day at a time. Be kind to yourself, friend.