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Kate Morris's avatar

Beautiful. So moving. So very true. Thank you for writing this for the encouragement and benefit of everyone who reads it

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Kate, your words are so encouraging this afternoon. Bless you ...

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Paula's avatar

Happy March Linda! Just popping back over to let you know I will be featuring your post at my Sweet Tea & friend's March Link Up. Which will be live shortly.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Wow, thanks, Paula! We're all grieving something at some point. I hope it'll be an encouragement to someone who stumbles on to it. Bless you as we kick off a fresh month. Lord knows we've been waiting for some whiffs of springtime.

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Karen Anderson's avatar

Beautifully written. I forwarded it to my friend who facilitates Grief Share at our church.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Oh Karen, I love GriefShare ... it was a true lifeline after my niece died and I've talked with others who sing its praises. Such a healing balm. Thank you for sharing.

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Paula's avatar

I'm at a loss for words. This is just so beautiful and emotionally heartwarming and encouraging. Your voice is so soothing. I know your words will be with me All day as I pause & reflect.

I so so appreciate you sharing this with Sweet Tea & Friends this month my dear sweet friend.

🤗❤️

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Paula, it's good for me to know thst this was somehow soothing and heartwarming for you. Thoughts on grieving can be unsettling and most unhelpful for those who have found themselves in a tender place along the way. Thanks for the thumbs up, friend.

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Mel Bjorgen's avatar

Timely as I’m trying g to improve myself in grief care as I work toward becoming a chaplain.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

From everything I'm discovering about you, you'll be an outstanding addition, Mel ...

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Lois Flowers's avatar

Oh Linda, this is a hope-filled, much-needed message. To hear that we can survive loss and find joy again--even when we can't imagine such a thing could be possible--is so encouraging. (I'm working on a post about a related topic that I would love to get your thoughts on ... will send your way soon.)

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Linda Stoll's avatar

I can't wait to connect with you!

MEANWHILE READERS, check out Lois' Help for Parent Loss resources ... oh so good -

https://www.loisflowers.com/help-for-parent-loss/

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Laura B.'s avatar

Linda, I’m so sorry for all the loss in such a short time. I do believe the equation of loss is an exponential one. Thank you for sharing your wisdom on this matter, and pointing me to the psalms. Such depth and comfort to be found there.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Praise God for the Psalms. For so many different reasons! It's such a sweet comfort and a huge hope to find our stories, victories, defeats, and joys spelled out in black and white.

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Laura B.'s avatar

Amen and amen.

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Amy Johnson's avatar

Oh my goodness, that is so much loss. I can't even imagine. I am so sorry.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Amy, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

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nancyaruegg.com's avatar

It boggles my mind that one person could experience so much loss, as one tragedy unfolded after another. And yet here you are, Linda, joyful and content, at peace with each heartache, and ready to turn all the mournful experiences into help and encouragement for others. Praise God for what he's done in your life, praise God for YOU! And thank you for that Nouwen quote. To become a wounded healer is a worthy goal for each of us.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

If anything good is happening in my life, it's all Him. Every last bit. I'm grateful.

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Jean Wise's avatar

Thank you for sharing your grief here. I know I mentioned I am starting a grief companioning course by Jan Lundy next week. I have to choose one person I have lost in my own life to write about during the class. Hard to chose just one, isn't it? But you have lost so many in such a short time. that is quite a bit. My heart breaks for you, Linda! Blessings for your healing

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Linda Stoll's avatar

I can't wait to hear more about this, Jean. Sounds fascinating. Will you be sharing more on your blog?

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Jeanie Croope's avatar

This is such a powerful post, Linda -- one which deserves a wide audience. I learned a long time ago that grief doesn't happen on cue, grief bursts pop when we least expect it, and that the quantity of loss can be overwhelming. I admire your sharing and honesty as you continue your life journey.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Grief doesn't happen on cue. I love that, Jeanie! Maybe accepting that reality would keep us from going completely under when the next loss comes barreling around the corner.

And maybe not, right? That nothing surprises God is such a huge comfort to me. All will be well because He's in charge and He is love. I'm grateful.

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Pam Richardson's avatar

Grief is definitely a part of living. Everyone experiences loss and heartache along the way. Eight in 8 years is a lot to process. The sharing of your grief is a comfort to all. Blessings, my friend!

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Linda Stoll's avatar

You're right, friend. I guess one of the reasons we share chapters of our hard stories so that somehow those who hear will get a bit of encouragement, and embrace the truth that they are not alone, and that God is very much with us.

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Meemanator's avatar

Saying I am sorry for your loss seems so lame and pat. We just cannot understand how God does things can we. My only coping skill is to accept that He knows what He is doing even if we don't. I give Him all the glory for all the things I cannot comprehend.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Yes. I believe He knows what He's doing even though I may never understand. I trust His love, His plans, His character, His heart.

All will be well.

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Meemanator's avatar

Wow! This just came in my inbox. Coincidence?

https://thesageforum.substack.com/p/a-letter-to-loss

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Perfect. I love when God does this. I invited them all over to join us!

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Meemanator's avatar

Awesome!

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Meemanator's avatar

I admit to being frustrated for not being able to have the exact right words to explain how being fully surrendered to God's will doesn't keep us in a bubble. It keeps us afloat in stormy seas.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

More often than not, for the big things in life I'm finding that there are no words. So, I'll just sit with what is true with a grateful heart. He knows and that's good enough for me.

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Meemanator's avatar

A grateful heart is the key I think.

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Lisa notes's avatar

You have such wisdom, Linda. I appreciate your grace for grief. 8 loved ones in 8 years - that would take anyone's breath away. I'm glad you know how to be gentle with yourself. Love you.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

I guess we never know the grace available to us through Jesus until we need it. Be gentle with yourself, too, friend. You are precious in His sight ...

xo

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Lisa Blair's avatar

That is a lot of loved ones to lose, Linda. Eight in eight years is a lot to process. Thank you for comforting others with the comfort you have received and for your vulnerability in sharing your precious heart. I am sending you a virtual hug, dear friend.

Currently, I am walking through the long goodbye of a loved one. It is by His grace that joy and sorrow, peace and pain can cohabitate. Because this loved one is young, he is not currently using palliative care, which is also hard to witness as he powers through life, enjoying every moment but in more pain than is necessary. It's interesting to be at a place of support in accepting and holding them in my heart with where they are at, yet desiring more excellent care for their end of life.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Oh, it's hard to watch when a sufferer decides not to accept pain relief. This is something I had to deal with in watching my mom decline over the final half decade of her life. And while it was her choice, it truly was an awful experience to live through. Absolutely awful. It ramped up my anxiety through the roof, leaving me feeling helpless, exhausted, and depressed.

I'm not saying that people should choose their medical treatments based on how it will impact others. I'm saying that unless we live isolated on a desert island, the choices we make will have a direct impact on those who love us. It truly is a hard call.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

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Jennifer Ross's avatar

Unfortunately Linda, many don't realise that loss & grief are as much a part of life as all the other experiences life holds.

As a retired Counsellor I agree with you, grief will not be denied, it will only seep out in other ways & at times rather unpleasantly.

I'm glad you hold a grief group. 😊

Blessings, Jennifer (Tea With Jennifer)

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Linda Stoll's avatar

'grief will not be denied'

Absolute truth. And the sooner we welcome her usually unwelcome arrival, the healthier we will end up being in the long run.

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