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Sally Olson's avatar

I agree. It's prevalent. 😔 We feel it.

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Sally Olson's avatar

I know the feeling.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

I think we're in good company, Sally ...

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Sally Olson's avatar

Yes. I think you're right.

I just poured my coffee, picked up my Bible, journal and pen. I guess I picked up my phone as well, because here I am.

I peeked into your grief group because that's a connection we have. I lost 6 people in 4 years. My oldest son, 25 at the time, is among them. He died of a traumatic brain injury while doing what he loved most. He died 6 months after my mother did.

Anyway, it's nice to make the connection. PS - I am slowly moving back to writing publically. Thank you for your encouragement.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Oh Sally, I'm so sorry for these unspeakable losses and the tragic timing of them. I hope you'll find some helpful companionship and encouragement here.

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Maryleigh's avatar

I usually read but today I listened - and I so enjoyed hearing your message. The summer started full of travels to weddings of dear friends' children. The connecting was beautiful - but the connecting in the everyday ordinary, the lifting up, the encouraging - God designed us for that - to pass down what we know of Him, of the God-stories that have impacted our soul - to be brave and reach to mentor - or be brave and reach to be mentored. It's all about being brave to make those connecting choices God has for us. Your post pairs well with my series!

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Linda Stoll's avatar

'It's all about being brave to make those connecting choices God has for us.'

Help me, Lord. I often have the heart of a coward. May we make it our goal to please You.

(2 Corinthians 5:9)

READERS - Please check out Maryleigh's beautiful series, Elijah's Mantle

https://bluecottonmemory.com/blog/

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Lois Flowers's avatar

I'm soaking in your words right now, Linda. We are in the "visiting" stage of church attendance, and I miss the deep connections that come with growing roots somewhere.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Oh Lois, I am so sorry that this need has come up in your life. We were shaped to have roots that grow deep and when the time comes where we need to uproot from a church family, well, that comes at great cost.

Yet another grief.

I'm praying for you even as we speak. That God would be tender to you as He gives direction. And that your precious relationship with Him and with those who love you will hold you fast and sure. May an open door be clearly marked for you.

Sending you love this morning, dear one.

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Donna Hoss's avatar

I just saw this one today! Could not believe it!

I just mentioned the verse about assembling in bible study this morning!

And I also had a sweet heart-to-heart with a relatively new friend. Meant a lot.

The Lord sure moves in mysterious ways! Thanks much, Linda. xo...

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Oh don't you love when God keeps confirming some kind of truth over and over and over again?! And hearing about your sweet heart-to-heart conversation with a new friend made me smile. I'm so happy for you. God knows we need these kind of relationships.

Thanks for being here, friend. I appreciate it ... and you.

ox

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Jean Wise's avatar

so good to listen to your voice and your wise words today. Yes yes we all need those deep connections and fellowship and all too often miss them and often don't realize how much we miss them. they do make our live richer and more complete. I believe the word is intentional. We have to be intentional in reaching out to others. taking the risk, being vulnerable enough to see the other and be seen too. Love you, Linda. This is a wonderful post!!!

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Jean, thanks for the wisdom of putting that intentional mindset on the table. Too often we run on auto-pilot or doing things because we always did it that way. Being intentional requires a change of heart, and for many of us, real help from the Lord. We can't do it on our own. Especially for those of us who love to look for reasons to pull into ourselves.

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Mel Bjorgen's avatar

Yes, we were made for rich deep relationship. I’m glad to be finding this not only in person but also in community here on Substack ❤️.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Yep, moving on over to Substack was one of last year's best decisions! No looking back, no regrets.

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Debbie W. Wilson's avatar

I got to visit two sets of friends this summer I hadn't seen for a while and it was wonderful. Love connecting in person.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Sometimes I find it delightfully renewing to step back in time ... but it's also incredibly wrenching when saying 'goodbye' and getting hit with the reality, all over again, that things will never be like they used to be. It's so hard ...

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Sally Olson's avatar

Well said. 😔

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Bill Grandi's avatar

Being an extreme extrovert I despise isolation. I look forward to Sunday mornings when i get to see "my people." I made an extra effort to stay in contact with people during COVID. Yeah...a loner I'm not.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

I love when a pastor says that he can't wait to see his people again. What a beautiful testimony to God's presence not only in your own soul, but in the life of your church. Thanks for this, Bill.

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Bill Grandi's avatar

My pleasure Linda. I simply don't understand pastors who don't love their people, who only see the church as a "job." Tragically, it is far more prevalent than it should be (like never). thanks for the encouragement Linda.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

No wonder so many of our leaders are heading straight into burn-out. You've modeled a life of loving servanthood, Bill. You'll be hearing a, 'well done, good and faithful servant ...'

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Bill Grandi's avatar

That would be my ultimate reward and joy-giver.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Amen.

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Wounded Sheep's avatar

As usual, your musings met me head on. I told someone this morning that Sunday morning church was not a safe place to fall apart. Yes, I’ve been hurt. As recently as 3 weeks ago I was left essentially feeling abandoned by my church family. Thanks to God that He has provided a safe place for me with my weekly Bible study.

I need to consider your words and ask God to show me the way forward. Thank you for sharing as God leads you.

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Wounded Sheep's avatar

Thanks, Linda. Those are precisely the 3 things I need most. And a double measure of grace, for myself, and to extend to others.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Dear Deb, I grieve with you from afar that you're feeling abandoned by your church family. That's a truly awful place to find oneself. I pray that the love of Jesus would be especially sweet in your life right now and that the Bible Study will help you walk through this season with kindness, wisdom, and grace.

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nancyaruegg.com's avatar

It's true: we often don't realize how much we've missed something until we're able to return to it once again. Our new church (We've been members almost a year now.) provides ongoing women's Bible studies at various times during the week, with 125 gals participating. We meet in small groups for most of the time and finish up with an all-inclusive teaching. The deep-dive together in God's Word, getting to know other women, and praying for one another has been so uplifting. When I joined last year, my response was the same as yours, Linda: I've missed this so much!

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Yeah. Exactly. I knew I couldn't be the only one, Nancy. When you've feasted before, gone without for awhile, and come back to a bountiful table, it's an awesome experience. And then I think of believers in countries where there might not be a whole slew of offerings, or they may be fearing persecution from family or state. Simply having a Bible and one other soul ('where 2 or 3 are gathered ...') to meet in safety and quiet would be a cause for gratitude and praise.

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nancyaruegg.com's avatar

Absolutely, Linda!

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Lisa Lee Mills's avatar

I relate to this one so much, Linda. I feel like life is lonelier than it used to be and it's harder to make connections. Too much dependence on texting these days while I long to hear my phone ring...or for someone to answer when I call. I sincerely appreciate you choosing the option that allows me to listen to your voice. It makes the experience so much more personal and meaningful. Thank you.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Lisa, I hear you about texting. It's become my default mode of quick communication, replacing email in many cases. And yes, I've had to learn the hard way not to use screens for conversations that are better spoken in person. It's hard to look into someone's eyes or see body language when we're tapping away and staring at words. It's so easy to be misunderstood.

* sigh *

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Lisa Lee Mills's avatar

I agree, Linda, and like many, I also use text messaging every day. I embrace technology even while missing the personal touch of conversing by phone or face-to-face. I try to use texts for short, quick messages. Somehow, they’ve become the preferred method for so many of my friends and family, that I’ve actually been caught in a loop of 30-45 minutes text “conversations.” If I suggest a call instead, I’m told they’re busy or in a meeting.

How true that it’s easy to be misunderstood without the context of body language, eye contact, intonation, micro-expressions and more. Text messaging is great in most circumstances, but not all.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

'If I suggest a call instead, I’m told they’re busy or in a meeting.'

I know you didn't mean this to be funny, but it made me chuckle (sadly) at the excuses people come up with.

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Lisa Lee Mills's avatar

I’m glad it made you laugh! Honestly, when I was typing it I had to stop and ask myself if that was their way of saying “no, let me keep my distance from you,” but I don’t take it personally because they do other people the same way. Not too busy to text, but too busy to talk. The irony of it all!

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Debby Hudson's avatar

This hits right at my heart. Thanks, Linda

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Sally Olson's avatar

Hi, Debbie. It's through you that I found Linda's and this group. Have you noticed how God continues to make our paths cross?

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Debby Hudson's avatar

Hi Sally. I do love how God directs us in, often, unexpected ways.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

ox

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Cheryl's avatar

This was just wonderful, dear friend. I soaked it up like a sponge this morning and praise God for you and your faithfulness to Him. You make a blessed difference in my life through every single one of your posts. I love and appreciate you dearly.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Sponges. Yes. We come to Him thirsty, don't we. Nothing else, nobody else replenishes us and makes us useful like He does. Thanks for sitting with me this morning. Seeing you is such a good way to begin the day.

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Michele Morin's avatar

Listening while I make fish chowder. A friend is coming for dinner tonight—one friend, not 11 or 17!

I loved my people-filled summer, but am breathing a sigh of relief that I can get back to quiet study time and welcoming people in smaller doses. (And even as I type this I realize that I have a dozen souls coming for Sunday dinner…)

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Fish chowder. First thing in the morning. Wow, friend. I am so impressed ... and slightly motivated. Sure wish you lived closer because you know I'd want to be one of your Sunday dinner people.

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Michele Morin's avatar

And you would be SO welcome!

BTW, chowder is better if it sits before being eaten. By dinner time it will be wonderful.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

I'll bring the biscuits. But we have to eat them straight from the oven.

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Andrew Budek-Schmeisser's avatar

I don't know how to share this thought,

though it may be enlightening,

but my shadowed past has brought

me to where I am frightening,

and though I do not mean to be,

it makes no difference because

I am not whom people see,

for from my eyes the man I was

looks cooly out upon the land

of lessers and of enemies,

and though I truly understand,

and understanding, aim to please,

I cannot cover up the eyes

where hell, in its stark beauty, lies.

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Linda Stoll's avatar

Your pain-filled words immediately brought this old hymn to mind, friend ... and Lauren Daigle sings it well -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X85txs60yY

I do believe that's you laying in the grass, looking skyward, ya know?

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