Porch #166 🗝️ A big brave adios to fear, people-pleasing, & overthinking

If you find decision making to be a challenge, maybe it's time to say goodbye to these all too familiar, burdensome companions.

🔼 I think you just might hear my passion for getting rid of these chains that so easily bind us … listen in!

Hey gang, we’re making it through January, one day at a time! Thank You, Jesus.

A few weeks back, we talked about taking care of the unfinished business that tends to loom persistently right below the surface. In the next three weeks, we’re going to dig a bit deeper and unpack a few of those heavy rocks that easily accumulate in the backpacks of our lives, the stuff that keeps us from moving forward with clarity and purpose.

Untended to, these bugaboos can prove to be a huge distraction and slow us down to a crawl when all we really wanted was to move ahead -

1. Decisions left unmade that hang like an albatross around our necks.
   

2. Resentments that haven't been dealt with and forgiveness not offered isolate us in a miserable prison of our own making.
   

3. Grief that's somehow been compartmentalized and tucked back into the far-off corners renders us incapable of moving toward an authentic spirit of hopefulness.

This week? It’s all about the decision making process.

Life's a series of choices, isn't it. We get to choose how to respond to what's happening to us. What to do with our emotions and thoughts, hopes and dreams. How we invest our time, energy, and whatever resources we possess.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
- 2 Timothy 1:7

Consistently living out this verse is not an easy assignment, is it. Fear is a tough taskmaster and an all too common default mode.

Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of what people will think all lead us to imagine worst case scenarios. Out of control fear stops us in our tracks and sucks us down into an abyss of anxiety.

Our natural bent and unfortunate past life experiences easily combine to lead us to believe that something catastrophic is always lurking 'round the next corner, that the other shoe's just waiting to drop, that a black cloud hangs overhead with lightening bolts aimed straight toward us. If that's our storyline, then chances are that our laced-with-fear decisions will reflect those beliefs.

“We make it our goal to please Him.”
- 2 Corinthians 5:9

People-pleasing always leaves us feeling 'less than' as our confidence continues to ooze away. If we're obsessively controlled by what other people want / expect / demand, the choices that spring forth from their manipulation are probably going to end up falling flat or go nowhere fast. And that simply makes the endless, vicious 'I am such a loser' cycle spin all the more, doesn't it.

Beware! These two obnoxious fear and people-pleasing traps lurk in darkened, untended corners, just waiting to jump out and trip us up every time we head forward in our own strength.

Make no mistake, these traps will do their best to keep us from hearing the victorious freedom song that emerges when we truly desire to hear God's whisper, His direction, His purpose for our lives. And you can be sure that the enemy of our souls would love nothing more than to distract us from God’s goodness and focus us on all possible worst case scenarios.

And then there’s the heart attitude behind our choices …

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
- 2 Corinthians 9:7

I know this verse is about giving but I do believe it can also apply to the heart attitude behind our decision making. This verse speaks to being clear-minded, joy-fueled, and open handed. It speaks to freedom and generosity of spirit that comes from a soul who trusts God and wants His will more than their own agenda or plans. It’s born of steady conversations with the Heavenly Father that bring spiritual growth as well as clarity, direction, and confidence that His plans for His children are always wise and good.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
- Jeremiah 29:11

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If you’re looking for a hands-on little guidebook to help free yourself from analysis paralysis, catastrophizing, and other stumbling blocks, Anne Bogel’s Don't Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, & Bring More Joy to Your Life might be a perfect companion for you in this season.

This is an easy read, yet immensely helpful book. Anne offers a bounty of practical thoughts on freeing ourselves from the negative thought patterns, the information overload, the perfectionism that trips us up. She speaks of identifying what kind of person you want to be and then aligning those values to both simple and complex decisions.

You’ll discover common sense strategies in limiting your options as you learn to ease your decision making process. She gives concrete steps on how to respond when ‘your brain gets stuck on the bad stuff.' Each chapter closes with a few simple questions to clarify your challenges and responses to what you're discovering about yourself.

This is a brilliant companion to grab hold of as you continue forward into what God has for you to be and to do in the year ahead.

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Fear? People-pleasing? Attitude problems? Overthinking? Which one trips you up?

Let’s talk. Click this little blue button to spill the beans … or to quietly take it all in on the sidelines. Either choice will be a helpful decision! And don’t pass by the BONUS READ below. I can’t help but believe it might be encouraging to you.
Linda

BONUS READ:

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