Linda, your words always speak directly to my heart and soul (and I thank you sincerely for taking the extra step to narrate each of your posts 😊). You give voice to my thoughts and feelings. At some point, I’ve identified with each one although my forte is overthinking. It helps to know I’m not alone in these. Thank you.
Yeah, overthinking is a big one for so many of us. And maybe even more so because we've got so much information coming at us 24/7? I found Anne's book to be such an excellent companion in pivoting away from the stuff that made life harder for me than it needed to be.
Thanks for weighing in, Lisa. I'm so glad you're here.
Linda, I just listened to a sermon about Jeremiah 29:11 this week. Yet again, one of those super-familiar verses led to a gold mine of encouragement! Also, your comment section is the best. :-)
Linda, I have now read this post several times. Fear and people-pleasing. I hadn't realized just how much the two go together. They are strange bed fellows for sure. I have given in to both of these more times than I would care to admit. May my choices this year be founded in God's will and purposes and not ruled by either fear or people-pleasing. I so appreciate your wisdom and sharing this!
'May my choices this year be founded in God's will and purposes.' I'm saying amen with you this afternoon, friend. Fear and people-pleasing have done us no favors along the way, have they. I only wish I had known this maybe half a century or so ago. (Yikes!) So much of my life would have been very different. ...
On my book shelf, Ann's book "Don't Overthink It" lies between Brene Browns "I Thought It Was Just Me" and DeYoung's "Just Do Something." So, yes, they can all snare me (and do!) if I'm not filling my mind with all that is good toward the victorious freedom in Christ!
I hear you, Amy. I've been there and I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this.
I've found turning off screens right after supper and doing calming, quiet activities in the evening help. Soft praise music is good. Less caffeine and sugar have helped, too.
Like I just said to Pam who wrote yesterday - I've found https://app.soulspace.co/ to be a great help during times of anxiety along with steady deep breathing and brisk walks outside in His creation. And anxiety continues to be a problem, please talk with your doctor.
Thank you for your vulnerability here. Your honesty will encourage others. I hope it helps to know you're not alone. Praying for you right now.
“Fear is a tough taskmaster and an all too common default mode.” It seems as I have gotten older, fear can overtake me and comes out of nowhere! Along with fear comes anxiety. Thanks, Linda for a timely post!
Yes, there's something about getting older that seems to kick increase our fear, Pam. I can't help thinking we feel more powerless and less in control of what's happening to us and those we love and in our world. We've seen a whole lot of hard things happen along the way and our bodies aren't who they used to be.
Thank God, His Spirit in us hasn't changed and we are defined by His fruit - 'love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5).
I've found https://app.soulspace.co/ to be a great help during times of anxiety along with steady deep breathing and brisk walks outside in His creation. And if the anxiety continues to be a problem, please talk with your doctor.
Thank you, Linda, for this wise and nurturing insight. I think overthinking and people-pleasing are biggies for me. I've come a long way, but I have to constantly remind myself of who I am in Christ and who HE wants me to be, not what others want me to be. "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in YOUR sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19 - emphasis mine) Love and blessings to you!
'I have to constantly remind myself of who I am in Christ and who HE wants me to be.' Yes, yes. Trudy! There are so many voices luring us, beckoning us, shouting at us. You're reminding me of Hebrews 12:2 - 'fixing our eyes on Jesus, the authrr and perfecter of our faith.'
A good counselor helped tremendously! Enabling me to see how much of what I had anxiety about was simply me trying to control an outcome that I was never meant to control. ✨
Yes, yes. When we see it in black and white it often makes perfect sense, doesn't it. Thanks for being willing to share this slice of your story, Cathy. I have a feeling someone will be incredibly helped by it ...
Oh, I have been SUCH a people-pleaser in the past. Actually it was worse than that--I aspired to be a people-impresser! I didn't recognize the unnecessary stress I was putting on myself, or the self-centeredness that lay at the root of my efforts. I still have to fight against this tendency, probably a symptom of the underlying perfectionism. My prayer is: "Help me Lord to just be good enough!"
A people-IMPRESSER! That's a whole other post, right? So very closely related. You hit the nail on the head as I'm guessing that most of us who're prone to people-pleasing would totally hear what you're saying. And oh yes, the stress, the self-centeredness, the pride, oh my.
Thanks for taking this to the next level, Nancy. Ouch, girl!
Oh, how each of these things can literally stop us in our tracks and prevent us from moving forward! If we could only ever fully comprehend that God is in control of every part of our lives, we could ditch all of these forever. Sometimes, I get fully convinced of the truth, and I live in complete joy and peace for a time. Then those old fearful thoughts start creeping back in, and the battle starts all over again. I so appreciate this precious encouragement and timely reminders today. God bless you richly, dear friend!
You're so right, Cheryl. When we realize (yes, again) who knows the end of the story as well as the beginning and remember His faithfulness and goodness and wisdom from the past, we are free-er to let all this stuff loose. Trusting in His character and who He says He is gives us freedom from thinking we're in charge of the universe.
Such great inspiration for the new year, Linda! How can we move forward with positive outlooks if we're carrying around all that baggage? I still have my copy of Don't Overthink It from when many of us read it together in your virtual book club. Time for a reread! Blessings!
I know, I know! I dragged my book out and can't wait to re-read ... and yes, it's exactly 3 years since our online Book Club. There's something about January that brings this whole subject up repeatedly, isn't there ...
I can be prone to 'staying in my head' thinking of all possible outcomes and coming up with a detailed response to all possibilities. It is exhausting and joy-stealing. Yesterday I woke up to an unexpected stressor on a rare beautiful sunny day and whispered to myself, "Oh not again... I just want to be happy." It was a hard fight the whole day, to respond to the stressor with integrity and constructive communication, to fight the fear, anger, hurt that accompanies the stressor and to resist over-functioning a situation that is not mine to "fix." So I responded to the situation, took a long walk with my dog and a friend. Observed an amazing sunset then turned off my phone and all devices for the evening. It was still a hard day but I fought for a window of pleasure. This morning I wrote down all that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy in my understanding right now (Philippians 4:8) I don't "feel" especially happy or joyful but I know that a practice for some sense of peaceful or calm state of being is worth it. Thanks for reading. I think just sharing this helps too.
Hey Kate, I hope it encourages you when you read how you responded yesterday. Notice that you didn't react, but you chose a reponse with integrity and constructive communication. You got outside and walked with your dog and a friend. You recognized your emotions but didn't cater to them. And you turned off your phone, chose 'a window of pleasure,' and meditated on Philippians 4:8.
You're right, these aren't happy times and there's no point in pretending that there are. But peace and joy can remain in your soul because they are a fruit of God's Spirit living inside you and aren't going anywhere.
I hope you feel heard and loved today. You've given us all a path to follow and I thank you so much for that. Resisting overfunctioning in situations that aren't ours to fix or manipulate is a huge deal for so many. I see freedom in the air.
Linda, your words always speak directly to my heart and soul (and I thank you sincerely for taking the extra step to narrate each of your posts 😊). You give voice to my thoughts and feelings. At some point, I’ve identified with each one although my forte is overthinking. It helps to know I’m not alone in these. Thank you.
Yeah, overthinking is a big one for so many of us. And maybe even more so because we've got so much information coming at us 24/7? I found Anne's book to be such an excellent companion in pivoting away from the stuff that made life harder for me than it needed to be.
Thanks for weighing in, Lisa. I'm so glad you're here.
Thanks for the blog visits. I always appreciate your kind comments and book recommendations!
I love when we connect, Margie!
Fear and people-pleasing are struggles I know all too well, but I love how you tied decision-making to trusting God and having the right heart.
I'm so grateful He cares about the smallest details of our lives ... especially the hard stuff that can so easily throw us.
Linda, I just listened to a sermon about Jeremiah 29:11 this week. Yet again, one of those super-familiar verses led to a gold mine of encouragement! Also, your comment section is the best. :-)
That IS a gold mine passage! Those gems are there ... now to take the time to fully comprehend what God is inviting us to.
Linda, I have now read this post several times. Fear and people-pleasing. I hadn't realized just how much the two go together. They are strange bed fellows for sure. I have given in to both of these more times than I would care to admit. May my choices this year be founded in God's will and purposes and not ruled by either fear or people-pleasing. I so appreciate your wisdom and sharing this!
'May my choices this year be founded in God's will and purposes.' I'm saying amen with you this afternoon, friend. Fear and people-pleasing have done us no favors along the way, have they. I only wish I had known this maybe half a century or so ago. (Yikes!) So much of my life would have been very different. ...
On my book shelf, Ann's book "Don't Overthink It" lies between Brene Browns "I Thought It Was Just Me" and DeYoung's "Just Do Something." So, yes, they can all snare me (and do!) if I'm not filling my mind with all that is good toward the victorious freedom in Christ!
Amen. You preach it, girl.
For me, "fear" is the most troublesome. I do fine during the day, but the second I lay my head down, I feel it grip me.
I hear you, Amy. I've been there and I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this.
I've found turning off screens right after supper and doing calming, quiet activities in the evening help. Soft praise music is good. Less caffeine and sugar have helped, too.
Like I just said to Pam who wrote yesterday - I've found https://app.soulspace.co/ to be a great help during times of anxiety along with steady deep breathing and brisk walks outside in His creation. And anxiety continues to be a problem, please talk with your doctor.
Thank you for your vulnerability here. Your honesty will encourage others. I hope it helps to know you're not alone. Praying for you right now.
“Fear is a tough taskmaster and an all too common default mode.” It seems as I have gotten older, fear can overtake me and comes out of nowhere! Along with fear comes anxiety. Thanks, Linda for a timely post!
Yes, there's something about getting older that seems to kick increase our fear, Pam. I can't help thinking we feel more powerless and less in control of what's happening to us and those we love and in our world. We've seen a whole lot of hard things happen along the way and our bodies aren't who they used to be.
Thank God, His Spirit in us hasn't changed and we are defined by His fruit - 'love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5).
I've found https://app.soulspace.co/ to be a great help during times of anxiety along with steady deep breathing and brisk walks outside in His creation. And if the anxiety continues to be a problem, please talk with your doctor.
Praying for you even as we speak, friend.
Thank you, Linda, for this wise and nurturing insight. I think overthinking and people-pleasing are biggies for me. I've come a long way, but I have to constantly remind myself of who I am in Christ and who HE wants me to be, not what others want me to be. "May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in YOUR sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19 - emphasis mine) Love and blessings to you!
'I have to constantly remind myself of who I am in Christ and who HE wants me to be.' Yes, yes. Trudy! There are so many voices luring us, beckoning us, shouting at us. You're reminding me of Hebrews 12:2 - 'fixing our eyes on Jesus, the authrr and perfecter of our faith.'
good wisdom here. I keep reminding myself Faith not fear but it is easier said than done. An every day, every moment commitment.
Jean, as I read your thoughts, the words from that old hymn popped into my head -
'Moment by moment I’m kept in His love;
Moment by moment I’ve life from above;
Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.'
As a recovering catastrophizer, it did me good to read this today. 👌🏾
So ... can you tell us what helping you recover, Cathy?
A good counselor helped tremendously! Enabling me to see how much of what I had anxiety about was simply me trying to control an outcome that I was never meant to control. ✨
Yes, yes. When we see it in black and white it often makes perfect sense, doesn't it. Thanks for being willing to share this slice of your story, Cathy. I have a feeling someone will be incredibly helped by it ...
Bless you.
This is such a great conversation and all along I am thinking about the CS Lewis quote: "What? You too? I thought I was the only one."
I guess that means we’re all friends here?
Oh yeah. We're all in good company around here. People with no issues need not show up.
Oh, I have been SUCH a people-pleaser in the past. Actually it was worse than that--I aspired to be a people-impresser! I didn't recognize the unnecessary stress I was putting on myself, or the self-centeredness that lay at the root of my efforts. I still have to fight against this tendency, probably a symptom of the underlying perfectionism. My prayer is: "Help me Lord to just be good enough!"
A people-IMPRESSER! That's a whole other post, right? So very closely related. You hit the nail on the head as I'm guessing that most of us who're prone to people-pleasing would totally hear what you're saying. And oh yes, the stress, the self-centeredness, the pride, oh my.
Thanks for taking this to the next level, Nancy. Ouch, girl!
Oh, how each of these things can literally stop us in our tracks and prevent us from moving forward! If we could only ever fully comprehend that God is in control of every part of our lives, we could ditch all of these forever. Sometimes, I get fully convinced of the truth, and I live in complete joy and peace for a time. Then those old fearful thoughts start creeping back in, and the battle starts all over again. I so appreciate this precious encouragement and timely reminders today. God bless you richly, dear friend!
You're so right, Cheryl. When we realize (yes, again) who knows the end of the story as well as the beginning and remember His faithfulness and goodness and wisdom from the past, we are free-er to let all this stuff loose. Trusting in His character and who He says He is gives us freedom from thinking we're in charge of the universe.
Amen.
Such great inspiration for the new year, Linda! How can we move forward with positive outlooks if we're carrying around all that baggage? I still have my copy of Don't Overthink It from when many of us read it together in your virtual book club. Time for a reread! Blessings!
I know, I know! I dragged my book out and can't wait to re-read ... and yes, it's exactly 3 years since our online Book Club. There's something about January that brings this whole subject up repeatedly, isn't there ...
I can be prone to 'staying in my head' thinking of all possible outcomes and coming up with a detailed response to all possibilities. It is exhausting and joy-stealing. Yesterday I woke up to an unexpected stressor on a rare beautiful sunny day and whispered to myself, "Oh not again... I just want to be happy." It was a hard fight the whole day, to respond to the stressor with integrity and constructive communication, to fight the fear, anger, hurt that accompanies the stressor and to resist over-functioning a situation that is not mine to "fix." So I responded to the situation, took a long walk with my dog and a friend. Observed an amazing sunset then turned off my phone and all devices for the evening. It was still a hard day but I fought for a window of pleasure. This morning I wrote down all that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy in my understanding right now (Philippians 4:8) I don't "feel" especially happy or joyful but I know that a practice for some sense of peaceful or calm state of being is worth it. Thanks for reading. I think just sharing this helps too.
Hey Kate, I hope it encourages you when you read how you responded yesterday. Notice that you didn't react, but you chose a reponse with integrity and constructive communication. You got outside and walked with your dog and a friend. You recognized your emotions but didn't cater to them. And you turned off your phone, chose 'a window of pleasure,' and meditated on Philippians 4:8.
You're right, these aren't happy times and there's no point in pretending that there are. But peace and joy can remain in your soul because they are a fruit of God's Spirit living inside you and aren't going anywhere.
I hope you feel heard and loved today. You've given us all a path to follow and I thank you so much for that. Resisting overfunctioning in situations that aren't ours to fix or manipulate is a huge deal for so many. I see freedom in the air.