Thank you, Linda, for writing this and for sharing your wisdom so honestly. It truly encouraged me today and reminded me again how much better God's way is.
Years ago, I started praying, "Lord, help me see my husband the way You see him."
Over the years, that simple prayer opened up a gold mine of love (a deeper kind of love), patience, gentleness, and above all, understanding.
I’m so thankful God answered that simple prayer — what a faithful God He is!
Such good stuff, Linda. #1 and #7 really hit me—so easy to assume our person just knows what we need or wants love the same way we do. Thanks for keeping it real💛
This is wonderful Linda. I must admit, I related most to #3! But I have also experienced the natural changes that happen when I pour out my concerns and frustrations to God. This is our second marriage for both my husband and I, and we did learn a lot from our failed marriages, too. Since I was single for 26 years after my first marriage, my marriage is teaching me to allow someone else to take care of things! It's been a blessing but sometimes my independent ways can get in the way!
#3 will always be a struggle for those of us who are recovering know it alls! The good news is, the older we get, the more all those pat answers and 1-2-3 formulas fade to gray. And we come to realize how little we REALLY know ...
Linda, my husband and I celebrated our 52nd anniversary in February. He is now retired and we are enjoying more time together. There have been many lessons learned over these 52 years. I am thankful for each lesson and each year.
I have been absent for a couple of weeks. My precious 94 year old Daddy passed away peacefully with his beloved family surrounding him. He is in presence of the Lord with his beautiful bride, my Mother. He was the best Daddy a girl could have!
Oh dear Pam, I am sorry for this deep loss. That you have shared your family with us along the way allows us to grieve with you. Your beautiful pictures and loving words tell his story so very well. What an incredible legacy of godliness. May God give you a sweet peace as you grieve.
Wonderful marriage insights. We are going on 33. Two biggest lessons: make what's important to each other important. And not to take each other for granted.
Spot-on, Linda! We're heading to 42 years of marriage - and each one on your list is so true. Two of the things that really made a difference were 1) getting our expectations on the same page, and 2) (Part of Expectations) - realizing that only God could heal my broken places - that's not my spouse's job! You are so right about personalities - my husband and I are exact opposites on so much, yet we fit beautifully together!
It took me a long time to fully appreciate that only God could heal my broken places and fill those empty spaces. Only Him. No one else could even come close. Thank You, Jesus.
These are all great, Linda. And, I'm sure, hard-won wisdom over the years.
One I had to learn the hard way was not to assign motives. If my husband left socks in the living room and crumbs on the counter, I felt he was treating me like a maid, expecting me to pick up after him. When I finally expressed that, I learned he wasn't thinking that way at all. He would have cleaned things up eventually. Socks in the wrong place didn't bother him. But, to his credit, once he learned they bothered me, he was better about it.
I also heard from multiple sources to avoid "always" and "never" when arguing. When we're frustrated, we tend to escalate what really happened. "You ALWAYS leave your socks on the floor" is probably not accurate and just raises the other person's defenses.
I also like what Elisabeth Elliot said--that we might like 80% of our husband's characteristics but harp on the 20% we don't like instead of enjoying the 80%.
Though we've been married 45 years, I'm still not perfect at it and am still learning. :-)
This is so wise -->'I also heard from multiple sources to avoid "always" and "never" when arguing. When we're frustrated, we tend to escalate what really happened. "You ALWAYS leave your socks on the floor" is probably not accurate and just raises the other person's defenses.'
Barbara, thanks for bringing this irritating and inaccurate way of communicating frustration right to the foreground. Most of us need to take note of this - not only in what we say but how we say it.
Thank you, Linda, for writing this and for sharing your wisdom so honestly. It truly encouraged me today and reminded me again how much better God's way is.
Years ago, I started praying, "Lord, help me see my husband the way You see him."
Over the years, that simple prayer opened up a gold mine of love (a deeper kind of love), patience, gentleness, and above all, understanding.
I’m so thankful God answered that simple prayer — what a faithful God He is!
"Lord, help me see my husband the way You see him."
Amen. I love this heart posture, this prayer, friend.
Happy Anniversary you guys 🎉. I value your advice and Wise words of wisdom today Linda.
Thanks so much for sharing with Sweet Tea & Friends this month dear friend.
Any advice or words of 'wisdom' are hard won over the decades, the ups and downs. Anything of value is only because of His grace. Thank You, Jesus.
Your DQ treats have me craving a blizzard late at night. Lol.
A 24 hour DQ is what we need!
Such good stuff, Linda. #1 and #7 really hit me—so easy to assume our person just knows what we need or wants love the same way we do. Thanks for keeping it real💛
I assumed too much for too long. People aren't mindreaders, although we might want them to be ...
Great insights and tips! And I love your humor.
Gotta keep laughing, right?!
A blessed Easter to you, Debbie.
Thank you, Linda, such needed reminders!
Yep, we're all needing these nudges from time to time.
now that chocolate blizzard looks very very yummy......
Yes, it was!
This is wonderful Linda. I must admit, I related most to #3! But I have also experienced the natural changes that happen when I pour out my concerns and frustrations to God. This is our second marriage for both my husband and I, and we did learn a lot from our failed marriages, too. Since I was single for 26 years after my first marriage, my marriage is teaching me to allow someone else to take care of things! It's been a blessing but sometimes my independent ways can get in the way!
#3 will always be a struggle for those of us who are recovering know it alls! The good news is, the older we get, the more all those pat answers and 1-2-3 formulas fade to gray. And we come to realize how little we REALLY know ...
This is beautiful, Linda...thank you. 🙏
The words you used to describe #3 gave we a giggle! 🤭
Indeed...we are NOT the Holy Spirit! 😉
It's so tiring and quite unproductive to be the nagger-in-chief.
And a waste of precious energy that we could be using for love, understanding and compassion.
Casey, you are so right. And we can't get that time or energy back again.
Linda, I wrote about my Daddy here: https://everydayliving.me/2025/04/06/in-memory-of-my-daddy-simple-southern-sunday-no-542/
Oh my goodness, Pam!
What an amazing man your Daddy is/was!
You are so blessed to have had his beautiful example of love, joy and faith. 🙏
Thanks so much, Casey. Yes, he was the best.
Oh that childhood picture grabbed my heart!
xo
Linda, my husband and I celebrated our 52nd anniversary in February. He is now retired and we are enjoying more time together. There have been many lessons learned over these 52 years. I am thankful for each lesson and each year.
I have been absent for a couple of weeks. My precious 94 year old Daddy passed away peacefully with his beloved family surrounding him. He is in presence of the Lord with his beautiful bride, my Mother. He was the best Daddy a girl could have!
Oh dear Pam, I am sorry for this deep loss. That you have shared your family with us along the way allows us to grieve with you. Your beautiful pictures and loving words tell his story so very well. What an incredible legacy of godliness. May God give you a sweet peace as you grieve.
Thank you, Linda. Everyone that knew my Daddy said he is one of the finest men that they had ever known. I miss him so much.
And I just know he must have been so proud of you, friend ...
xo
Marry a person who is firstly a true friend and who genuinely respects you. Those two things have carried us nearly twenty years.
Yes, please to being friends first. It was a wonderful foundation for the years since then. To simply enjoy each other's company is such a gift ...
Wonderful marriage insights. We are going on 33. Two biggest lessons: make what's important to each other important. And not to take each other for granted.
You're so right! We all want to be seen, noticed, and appreciated by the ones we're spending our lives with ... even after decades together.
Yes these seemingly easy lessons I find are not so easy at first but then they become a way of love.
Spot-on, Linda! We're heading to 42 years of marriage - and each one on your list is so true. Two of the things that really made a difference were 1) getting our expectations on the same page, and 2) (Part of Expectations) - realizing that only God could heal my broken places - that's not my spouse's job! You are so right about personalities - my husband and I are exact opposites on so much, yet we fit beautifully together!
Let's hear it for #42!
It took me a long time to fully appreciate that only God could heal my broken places and fill those empty spaces. Only Him. No one else could even come close. Thank You, Jesus.
Such tried and true wisdom you shared here, Linda! On year 35 and still taking notes!
Congrats on #35 years!
Thank you! He’s a keeper! ❤️
These are all great, Linda. And, I'm sure, hard-won wisdom over the years.
One I had to learn the hard way was not to assign motives. If my husband left socks in the living room and crumbs on the counter, I felt he was treating me like a maid, expecting me to pick up after him. When I finally expressed that, I learned he wasn't thinking that way at all. He would have cleaned things up eventually. Socks in the wrong place didn't bother him. But, to his credit, once he learned they bothered me, he was better about it.
I also heard from multiple sources to avoid "always" and "never" when arguing. When we're frustrated, we tend to escalate what really happened. "You ALWAYS leave your socks on the floor" is probably not accurate and just raises the other person's defenses.
I also like what Elisabeth Elliot said--that we might like 80% of our husband's characteristics but harp on the 20% we don't like instead of enjoying the 80%.
Though we've been married 45 years, I'm still not perfect at it and am still learning. :-)
This is so wise -->'I also heard from multiple sources to avoid "always" and "never" when arguing. When we're frustrated, we tend to escalate what really happened. "You ALWAYS leave your socks on the floor" is probably not accurate and just raises the other person's defenses.'
Barbara, thanks for bringing this irritating and inaccurate way of communicating frustration right to the foreground. Most of us need to take note of this - not only in what we say but how we say it.