Um ... I forgot how much I missed being with people
I'm baring my soul on this one, friends. You might want to click on that little blue voiceover arrow below to listen in. I think you'll actually be able to hear the cry of my heart for you, for me.
‘Let us be concerned for one another, to help one another to show love and to do good. Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are doing. Instead, let us encourage one another all the more, since you see that the Day of the Lord is coming nearer.’
- Hebrews 10:24-25 (GNT)
Hey, friends. I’m so very glad that you’re here with us this week.
Tim and I have recently emerged from a whirlwind four month summer of sheer joyful madness, coming and going to celebrate and vacation and simply put our feet up with our girls, their husbands, and their kids. We’d come back to the Cape from Annapolis or Connecticut or the Adirondacks, catch our breath, throw in a few loads of laundry, savor a few quiet days, and then head out again for the next delightful round.
Looking back I wouldn’t trade one second of being away from our daily routines to become totally immersed in the lives of the ones we love most who live way too far away.
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About a month ago it hit me like a ton of bricks. Here we were, finally back in town for more than two seconds and getting together on a rainy evening with an eclectic group of friends and acquaintances, people we hadn’t spent any length of time with in forever. We were catching up and laughing, comparing notes and hearing each other’s stories. Re-connecting after being apart for so long left me surprisingly ravenous for more.
I left that night thinking oh my goodness, I’ve missed this so much.
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Fast forward a few weeks. I began to lead a grief support group for about a dozen women. Slowly but surely, they began to share where they were in their sometimes lengthy, complicated grief journeys. I found myself literally leaning forward and looking into the eyes of these courageous sisters, asking tender questions that might spark a step or two toward greater self-awareness and a healing touch from the Lord.
And all I could think was oh my goodness, I’ve missed this so much.
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I spent last Saturday morning at a ‘deep dive’ group where a couple dozen women of all ages worshipped together, listened to a sister preach from God’s Word (you go girl), scrawled page after page of notes. And then we dove into spiritual conversations around the tables that went soul deep in just a few minutes. As seven of us sat with the questions we’d be given to consider, I soaked up the spiritual insights coming from these old and new friends like a sponge.
And I couldn’t help but think (yet again), oh my goodness, I’ve missed this so much.
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And then Sunday afternoon, I met with sisters and brothers in ministry. We shared a few brief updates, but the time was pretty much spent catching up on life, listening intently to words spoken as well as unsaid, encouraging each other through prayer, tears, and laughter.
And I couldn’t help but think, God, this is what I was made for.
Our Creator has uniquely, wisely shaped us for soul-level interaction. Deep connection. Iron sharpening iron conversations. Healing in community.
We yearn for this kind of kindred spirit fellowship but we often don’t even realize it. We know there’s something missing, as we quickly tire of talk that is shallow or trivial and not all that meaningful.
It’s fear that keeps us from seeking out spiritually significant, faith stretching relationships. Because it’s so much easier to stay isolated and tethered to our screens than getting all courageous and venturing into the deep riches of developing trusting relationships, especially if we’ve been burned along the way.
Back in the day, I listened to a lovely young mama as she told me about the complex family saga that was rapidly unfolding in front of her eyes. I came right out and asked if she would trust me in connecting her with a spiritual caregiver to walk alongside her. Without missing a beat, she quickly, emphatically replied, ‘no.’
She had been wounded too many times, she reminded me with some irritation, her trust had been broken, and she was not at all interested. The conversation abruptly ended as she turned her back and walked out the door right back into more days of self-enforced, anxiety producing isolation, devoid of the kind of support that could have given her strength and wisdom.
If your relationships with others have been thwarted because of similar, painful circumstances, can I encourage you to begin talking with God about breaking free from the protective shield you’ve built around your hurting soul? Maybe asking Him to bring a kind and gentle friend into your life … or open the doors into a safe community of kindred spirits who will love you well and build up those weakened, atrophying trust muscles again?
The good news is that God is more than able to equip us with power, love, and sanity (2 Timothy 1:7) that will prepare us to head out on the proverbial limb toward getting to know people again. Because that’s where the fruit is. That’s where we best thrive and grow healthier, stronger, and more in tune with the world beyond our own four walls.
Because we were meant to do all of life (the good, bad, and the ugly) face to face, heart to heart, in the company of others.
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What’s been your experience in connecting deeply with other people? Are there tender areas of past hurt or betrayal that need God’s healing touch? What kind of boundaries might give you a sense of security? Is there a person or two you need to forgive? And what might God be inviting you to in this season?
Click this little blue button to leave a comment or to quietly glean from the conversation at hand …
And, as always, thanks for trusting me with space in your overcrowded inbox, valuable time, and sometimes limited energy. If you like what’s happening around here, it always brings a smile when I see your name pop up after you’ve clicked that little 🤍 below.
Linda
I usually read but today I listened - and I so enjoyed hearing your message. The summer started full of travels to weddings of dear friends' children. The connecting was beautiful - but the connecting in the everyday ordinary, the lifting up, the encouraging - God designed us for that - to pass down what we know of Him, of the God-stories that have impacted our soul - to be brave and reach to mentor - or be brave and reach to be mentored. It's all about being brave to make those connecting choices God has for us. Your post pairs well with my series!
I'm soaking in your words right now, Linda. We are in the "visiting" stage of church attendance, and I miss the deep connections that come with growing roots somewhere.