I am wishing the two of you success in discovering his love language.
This point connected with me due to the fact that I have had great difficulty in attempting to discern my own love language.
Probably in large part due to my alexithymia. It is extraordinarily difficult for me to connect with my own emotions and other mental machinations, so it’s likely the cause.
However, lately I’ve begun to suspect that my love language might be words of affirmation. I had rejected this idea in the past because of the fact that I have never responded well to words of affirmation in that upon hearing them, I am stunned and it is difficult for me to react in a positive way, or in any way.
But, I have come to consider the idea, that because receiving words of affirmation has been so extremely rare, while being so extremely needed, that my broken brain has no capacity to take it in. It’s like depriving a child of love for too long. At some point it seems like the damage is almost impossible to repair.
We are always learning new lessons, aren't we, Bob. Even considerinig a new idea shows we are still in process of growing. I'm sending you words of affirmation this morning and hoping that this little conversation will be an encouragment to you.
I realize it's not April - but happy 48th! I see so much of my husband and I in your need for empathy and the learning how to give grace and encouragement to each other. Maybe it is because we are language people - verbal encouragement is so very important. It was liberating when I realized only God could do the fixing (LOL). What a beautiful place to be in at 48 years!
Congratulations on such an amazing milestone of 48 years of marriage Linda! I love how you shared about the learning to speak each other's love languages - such a blessing to have that understanding in your marriage! It's so true that sometimes just listening is the better option, than trying to offer advice to "fix". Thank you for sharing that! May the Lord continue to pour out His blessings richly on you both!
Congratulations to the two of you for working through all the mistakes, misunderstandings, and problems to produce a golden example of marriage--working together, supporting one another, and blessing each other! P.S. Love that surf-side kiss--so sweet!
'working through all the mistakes, misunderstandings, and problems' + 'working together, supporting one another, and blessing each other'
Yes, you've spelled it out so beautifully, Nancy. For sure. I get a bit suspicious when a spouse says they've never had a disagreement with their mate. Um ... something's off kilter.
Happy anniversary! It's good to know we're a work in progress all along the way and always have room to learn to love more and better. We just celebrated 44 years together in December. I loved our newlywed years but wouldn't trade them for the relationship we have now.
I absolutely hear you about not even thinking about trading this season for those newlywed years. Life together is richer, stronger, sturdier, and calmer in this season. And oh I'm so grateful.
Meanwhile, congrats on 44 years. What a wonderful month December must be for you and yours.
I am wishing the two of you success in discovering his love language.
This point connected with me due to the fact that I have had great difficulty in attempting to discern my own love language.
Probably in large part due to my alexithymia. It is extraordinarily difficult for me to connect with my own emotions and other mental machinations, so it’s likely the cause.
However, lately I’ve begun to suspect that my love language might be words of affirmation. I had rejected this idea in the past because of the fact that I have never responded well to words of affirmation in that upon hearing them, I am stunned and it is difficult for me to react in a positive way, or in any way.
But, I have come to consider the idea, that because receiving words of affirmation has been so extremely rare, while being so extremely needed, that my broken brain has no capacity to take it in. It’s like depriving a child of love for too long. At some point it seems like the damage is almost impossible to repair.
We are always learning new lessons, aren't we, Bob. Even considerinig a new idea shows we are still in process of growing. I'm sending you words of affirmation this morning and hoping that this little conversation will be an encouragment to you.
I realize it's not April - but happy 48th! I see so much of my husband and I in your need for empathy and the learning how to give grace and encouragement to each other. Maybe it is because we are language people - verbal encouragement is so very important. It was liberating when I realized only God could do the fixing (LOL). What a beautiful place to be in at 48 years!
Wow, thank you, Maryleigh! And yes, yes, yes to 'only God could do the fixing'. What took me so long to fully appreciate what that would look like?!
48 years how amazing! I love how you shared how you are heard and validated. This is so touching and made me smile thinking of you two.
Thanks so much for sharing these wise words with Sweet Tea & Friends this month my friend.
xo
And thank YOU, friend. You always arrive with heaps of encouragement.
Yay for you two! Congratulations!
Thanks, June!
congrats and may you have many many more years together!
Jean, thanks, friend ...
Forty-eight years...I can't even count that high.
***
Tender is not what I do,
vulnerable not in lexicon,
and I think part of Barb doth rue
the road, way back, we started on,
thinking I would surely change
from the knuckle-dragging beast
just in from the open range,
but I did not, not in the least.
I wake her with Suspicious Minds
blasting on the stereo,
and then open wide the blinds,
for baby, it is time to go
and meet the morning's siren call
like bull headlong into a wall.
'the knuckle-dragging beast just in from the open range'
LOL!
God bless you, Barb.
I figure Barb's lucky to share this space with the King Of Cool.
Ayyyyyyyyy!
sending an eye-roll from MA
Don't let your eyes get stuck, rolled back. You got nice eyes, and you don't want to look like a zombie.
Sounds like something my grandma would have said (without the zombie thing)
Congratulations on such an amazing milestone of 48 years of marriage Linda! I love how you shared about the learning to speak each other's love languages - such a blessing to have that understanding in your marriage! It's so true that sometimes just listening is the better option, than trying to offer advice to "fix". Thank you for sharing that! May the Lord continue to pour out His blessings richly on you both!
Oh we all yearn to be heard ... and hate being fixed!
Let's hear it for kindness and compassion in all our relationships. Have a lovely weekend, Marilyn.
Aww! Happy Anniversary. That's a long time to know and love each other.
Who'd have ever guessed how quickly the seasons would come and go like gusts of wind ...
Happy Anniversary, Linda. It sounds like you both are blessed by the other! Beautiful!
Lisa, thanks for being here with me.
Happy Blessed Anniversary 😍 Love the beauty, rawness and truth shared 💞
Maybe vulnerability only makes the beauty shine brighter ...
Congratulations to the two of you for working through all the mistakes, misunderstandings, and problems to produce a golden example of marriage--working together, supporting one another, and blessing each other! P.S. Love that surf-side kiss--so sweet!
'working through all the mistakes, misunderstandings, and problems' + 'working together, supporting one another, and blessing each other'
Yes, you've spelled it out so beautifully, Nancy. For sure. I get a bit suspicious when a spouse says they've never had a disagreement with their mate. Um ... something's off kilter.
Happy Anniversary Linda!!! Such a precious post!
Donna, thank you ...
Being seen and heard and NOT fixed is such a gift! Celebrating with you this anniversary and the ways you are still growing in love. 🥰
Sue, your words are an encouragement this evening. Thank you for being here! I look forward to getting to know you in the days ahead ...
Happy Anniversary to you two! May God bless you with many more years together as you serve Him! We celebrated 51 years in February, God is good!
You've had a year, Pam. I'm guessing that number 51 might have been the sweetest celebration yet. I hope you and Butch are well.
Happy Anniversary, Linda! 💕 God bless you and Tim with lots more years and a deepening knowledge of each other and of God's love language. :)
Trudy, thanks, sweetie. And yes and amen to a deepening knowledge of each other and of God's generous love toward us.
Happy anniversary! It's good to know we're a work in progress all along the way and always have room to learn to love more and better. We just celebrated 44 years together in December. I loved our newlywed years but wouldn't trade them for the relationship we have now.
I absolutely hear you about not even thinking about trading this season for those newlywed years. Life together is richer, stronger, sturdier, and calmer in this season. And oh I'm so grateful.
Meanwhile, congrats on 44 years. What a wonderful month December must be for you and yours.